So I Want To Learn Karate...

Ok, so I signed up for a 7-week session of Karate. When I went to the Plainfield Y to sign up, (We'd already gotten a family membership the month prior) I was given a choice between Tuesday night & Thursday night for adult class. Cool! I jumped on the Tuesday thing, because the World Headquarters for the Theosophical Society is only about 45 minutes from my house, and they have these really fun lectures on Thursday nights, like "Contacting The Dead by Antique Radio," and "What Your Aura Colors Say About You," or "Peace For The World" with people like the Dalai Lama. Really out-there, totally fun stuff for a nutty Aquarian trying to make his way in this wierd universe.

Ok, I'm all primed - I bought my annual membership to the Theosophical Society and I packed a gym bag with soap and a towel and my old Tae Kwon Do uniform, (Bulging with non-practiced fattitude I am hoping to LOSE) and head down to the Y for class. I even put on my old white belt, anticipating the "start over" scene. What's the first thing my instructor says? "What are you doing here on a Tuesday night? Tuesday night is for advanced students." Lovely. There go my dreams of crop circle slide shows and Area 51 Secrets Revealed, crashing like a UFO caught in a bad neutron storm. The Angels of Nirvana will have to "Om" without me - for awhile.

The other zinger was "Nice gi - too bad it's the wrong one."

Now, you have to understand, my instructor has a great sense of humor - and a dry, deadpan delivery that can raise hairs on the hackles of the uninitiated. He has not dogged me since about wearing a Tae Kwon Do gi to Karate class, and I will at the first available opportunity buy the correct gi for Karate. (*Note: "gi" is Japanese for "uniform.")

First, however, I need to get such things as padded fist gloves, padded foot protectors, padded head protector, a mouth guard, and...eeeeyah! A nut cup. Yep, in this system of karate, kicking at the groin is part of the method. Can you guess that the order of equipment listed above DOES NOT match the order of purchase?? I am putting those boys in jail, in the padded plastic cell, ASAP!

BTW, one of the guys in class had an extra pair of fist pads and footpads that he gave me. This helps greatly, as the finances are tight. (Ahem!) Now, the footpads in Karate class protect the TOP of the feet. Most roundhouse kicks, which is the most common kick, use the upper part of the foot for impact. These pads are NOT to protect me. They are to protect my opponent. In case you haven't guessed, there is a lot of sparring in this Karate system. I want to express my gratitude to the un-named gentleman for this kind gift. (You know who you are.) The footpads are a size too small, but they will work, at least until I can get the right size.

(*NOTE: Sparring in this class is supposed to be LIGHT CONTACT ONLY. We are not to beat each other black, blue, or broken. The whole idea is to learn finesse, control, and skill. Properly protected and with appropriate contact only, no one should be hurt in class. Caution, control, and respect, folks. :-)

I wasn't actually supposed to start sparring until the last class of the session, which is three weeks away, I guess. However, Sensei decided that tonight I would start early - without cup or cough drops! I'd left the donated gear at home until the last class night of the session. Sensei got me in sparring last night anyway, though. It actually worked out pretty well. He sparred with me first time out, and then had me work my way down through the belts. I am restricted to having a green belt or above referee my sparring sessions, however, because I am so new and someone needs to be ready to stop the action if there are any accidents or issues.

At any rate, I felt pretty good with it by the end of the evening, and I only got one minor bruise on my ankle blocking a kick. I didn't hurt anyone as far as I can tell. I think I will be fairly good at this, once I get my forms down better and gain more control.

I did have one issue, though. One of the primary rules is that we guys can't touch the gals in the upper or lower anatomy. Well, this makes perfect sense, but it also is a reflex to punch at an opponent's body to either score a point or to feignt and open the opponent up for a head punch or a kick. I found out by accident that, at my height, I can't reach down far enough for the most part to get even at a solar plexus level on the gals, because they are just plain too low to the ground for me. I was absolutely mortified! Yikes! I don't want to get kicked out of class for an accidental anything. New self-rule: NO BODY SHOTS AT THE WOMEN with the hands. Kicks are easy enough to aim at safe areas, punches are NOT. Any of you tall guys learning the art, you either already know this, or you'd best hear me clear.

Karate - the art of the empty hand. Best we keep it that way. Next time, I'll discuss some of the blocks, punches, kicks, and beginning kata. (Kata are dance-like training forms used to build "muscle memory" of the moves you need for the art.) Good night, All, and thanks for reading.